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# Bill Gates #

    Bill Gates dies and finds himself being sized up by God...

    "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to
    send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by
    putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also
    that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done
    before. I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."

    Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the two?"
    God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, to see if
    it will help your decision."
    "Fine, but where should I go first?" Bill asked.
    "I'll leave that up to you." God replied.
    "Okay then," said Bill, "let's try Hell first."

    So Bill went to Hell. It had a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with
    waters and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in the
    laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining, the temperature
    perfect. He was very pleased. "This is great," he told God. "If this
    hell, I really want to see heaven."
    "Fine," said God, and off they went. Heaven was a place high in the
    clouds, with angels drifting
    about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as
    Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision. "Hmmm. I
    think I'd prefer Hell," he told God.
    "Fine," replied God, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell.

    Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire to see
    he was doing in Hell.
    When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall screaming amongst
    hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons, with no    
   one to help him out of his dilemma no matter how loud he screamed.
    "How's everything going?" He asked Bill.
    Bill responded with his voice filled with anguish and tormented
    disappointment. "This is awful. This is nothing like the Hell I
    two weeks ago. I can't believe this is happening. What happened to
    other place, with the beaches and beautiful women playing in the water
    "Oh," God said, "that was Hell 3.1. This is Hell 95.


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